I Am Not An Idiot!
by The Lady of Shadows
Summary: An answer to the Drunk Drabble Challenge! on the McKaySheppard livejournal. A weird dream.


Author:The Lady of Shadows  
Title: Don't Treat Me Like An Idiot!  
Archives: My site: www.theladyofshadows.envy.nu, my livejournal: http/theladyofshadow. Mckay-Sheppard slash, foreverfandom, & Wraithbait. Anyone else, just ask!  
Pairings:McShep of course!  
Ratings:PG to Pg-13  
Warnings:Other than slash and Crack!fic? ummm nope. Well also it is unbeta'd. If anyone wants to be my beta. Please let me know.  
& finally Yes! I know! I seem to like collecting email addresses. So sue me!  
Disclaimer: I do not own SGA or Domes of Fire! Some other lucky bastard does! So please don't sue! 

Lights flashed and the alarm whined in a loud piercing whine. Sir Rodney McKay looked down at the console, pondering his options. He looked over to Sir John Sheppard and nodded. John turned to Sir Lorne and said, "Please escort Queen Elizabeth back into the castle." He paused and then stated delicately, "Things are about to get a little ... messy!"

"What do you mean, a little messy? The plan was to release the barges and light them on fire in order to keep the Wraith away from the castle" shrieked Queen Elizabeth. "How is that supposed to be messy!"

Rodney and John exchanged a speaking glance. "It's not tactically sound to use a weapon before most of your enemies are around to receive its benefits" John stated.

"But ... But..."

"Enough! Please escort the Queen back into the castle Sir Lorne" Rodney snapped out.

Rodney once again looked down at his console. Lifting his hand to his left ear, he hissed "Kavanaugh, let the Satedens and the Genii know its time to move into position."

"Alright." sighed Kavanaugh, pissed that all he was, was a glorified messenger.

"Oh," Rodney muttered absent minded-ly "Tell them not to do anything until the signal is given."

"I know that Rodney!" Kavanaugh whined, "Don't treat me like I'm an idiot!"

John and Rodney smirked at each other in perfect understanding. For even though Kavanaugh was smart, he was also an idiot.

Bates voice came over the radio, "The Wraith on the barges have moved into position."

"Kavanaugh, tell Zelenka to set of the signal" snapped out John.

"Zelenka, toot your horn" Kavanaugh growled out petulantly.

"TOOT! came an irate Czech voice and with a few muttered curses in his own tongue, he pressed the button on his Ancient doohickey. For the Atlanteans, Athosians, Satedans, and Genii this was the signal that would bring pain, death, and mayhem onto the Wraith. But if any Ancient had been in the area they would have heard this, "Welcome to A-Mart! We hope you enjoy shopping here today and hope that you have like a totally, awesome day dude!"

From the parapets of Atlantis Castle, the Atlanteans and Athosians dumped large boulders onto the barges full of black-clad Wraith below. From the splintered barges a vicious, very flamable mixture that the geek squad had developed spread across the water, giving it a pretty rainbow hue. Then the pissed off and vengence filled Satedans and Genii stood up from their concealed positions and dumped burning torches into the water. The resulting explosion was a sight to behold. The screaming Wraith that survived the initial explosion, scrambled out of the burning water, dripping flames as they went. "Zelenka!" John yelled, "Signal Teyla now!"

Once again, Zelenka sent out his message of "Welcome to A-Mart! We hope you enjoy shopping here today and hope that you have like a totally, awesome day dude!"

Then the gate opened and wrathful Satedan and Genii soldiers swept into the Atlantean compound!

Rodney sat up with a gasp and then groaned. "What's wrong Rodney?" asked John's concerned voice beside him on their bed.

Rodney turned to John and spit out "Remind me to not read David Eddings after an encounter with the Wraith before bed."

"Why?"

"Because it gives me very, very weird dreams. Next time I might dream we were turned into penguins and have gay penguin sex in front of everyone in Atlantis" Rodney grumbled. He paused for a moment remembering the dream and then smirked, "I bet the Wraith in my dream had like a totally, awesome day dude!"

The End

Alright, that was my first SGA McShep fic, drabble thingy. I'm not sure if its cracked enough to fit the challenge but I wrote it after having a lot of caffinated beverages. Specifically 2 cans of iced tea, 1 can of rootbeer, 1 can of vanilla coke, and 2 Dublin Cream Cappicinos and I'm currently reading "Domes of Fire" by David Eddings when this weird fusion thingy popped into my head. I do hope you enjoyed it.


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